My computer chord is broken, so I won’t be blogging/tweeting over the next few days.

I don’t wear cologne. No deodorant. That shit smells gross, girly, and is liable to give you cancer. Real women like the sent of my putrid sac, and if they don’t, they grin and bear it. Nevertheless, that doesn’t keep me from dreaming about a magically scented potion that would bring even the prudest of…

Thursday evening, itching all over and writhing in pain, I prayed to the Twin Pink Goddesses Bismol and Benadryl. It was getting harder to breath as red and white splotches began to texture my skin, but there was nothing to be done. Note to self: don’t use the epipen for recreation, you just might need…

I sure am glad The Fly took the hit and not me. Here is the post I feared I would be writing tonight. Therein you will find what could have been my future had I not eaten two Xanax and overslept till 11am PST. Even upon waking, Fate conspired to aid me as my melanomic…

The market will zig and zag till everyone has lost interest and is broke; cease participation or face death from over trading. Wake up late, take a bong rip, and get in the bath. If you turn on CNBC, keep it on mute and listen to something less caustic like ocean waves (I prefer pornographic…

“It’s War” declares Matt Drudge following an English report about an Indian EDITORIAL. Yes, an editorial just might start WWW3 if people continue to read the headlines. I mentioned the possibility of the markets pricing in a major war a few weeks ago here, but I didn’t think it would happen a week later.

The market made some moderate progress, nothing too exciting. Short term the trend is up, long term we’re still looking grim.

A theme from the first half of 2008 is reemerging, and it warrants notice.How far can the spread between DIG and UYG get?

Perhaps the dollar is finding its strength in the massive liquidations and margin calls… perhaps market participants think that the numbers coming out of the foreign markets are more bogus than our own… perhaps the markets are pricing in the implicit military threat of not accepting dollars. I’ve heard comparisons of the US to the…

The market looks poised to rocket up after an explosive weekend of *gasp* nothing. If the speed of the recent decline is any indicator, this is setting up to be one of the sharpest bear rallies in history. TBT for a bet on rising Treasury yields as the TED spread narrows.